Do we meet people by accident?
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Synchronicity
meaningful coincidence
in meeting someone
A belief or sign
that we met for a purpose
not by accident
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Everyone one meets
is a part of our journey.
Is it a blessing,
…. or a lesson?
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Leaking stoma bags and ‘the window’
Anecdote 1- Mr. Ahmed
“Nurse B, my bag leaks again! The other nurse A applied the bag just thirty minutes ago!” called Mr. Ahmed, a bed-ridden patient.
“Sigh! Look at the mess! Now I have to change a new bag again, the bed linens and your hospital clothes!” Nurse B grumbled as she changed the linens and the stoma bag…
Nurse Chen saw the patient tearing silently. She went toward him.
“Nurse Chen, see that window? If only I can walk! I would jump out of it!” he cried sadly.
“What is the point of ‘saving my life from cancer of the large intestine’, if my life is such a mess everyday!” he lamented the poor quality of life after operation.
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That happened in the late 1980s. A small pioneering team of surgeons and nurses were tasked to look into the care of patients who were operated and had a stoma (<—see the images here) on their abdomen or ‘tummy’.
Those days stoma bags were a basic bag with zinc oxide adhesive (below). Very often it leaked and the fecal effluent spilled all over their clothes and bed linens. The skin around the stoma became excoriated or burned by the frequent contact with the excrements. It became inflamed and excruciatingly painful.
It was very depressing for the patients, and frustrating for the patient, home-carer and healthcare staff, too.
Upon discharge, some patients used cloth, new-papers, coconut shell, empty tins over their stoma to collect the effluents. Some created their own stoma bags (see below).
Old? Who is old?
Quote:-
Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. Mark Twain
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OCD- Where’s that tiny, winy, little crumb?
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He looked under the table
He moved the chair
He scanned the floor
left and right.
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Ah, here it is
as he picked up
a small piece of crumb;
a tiny, winy little piece,
how satisfied he was!
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That was one
of his OCD behaviours!
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I have got this obsessive compulsive disorder where I have to have everything in a straight line, or everything has to be in pairs.
David Beckham
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I’m a hygiene freak. I’m like obsessive-compulsive when it comes to washing your hands.
Kelly Clarkson
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Mental disorders: Applying the safety net
Li Na passed by a house in a rural village.
An unkempt, half-naked man was squatting
over a drain outside a half-burned house.
The driver said, “he is a mentally-ill person.
He was probably trying to cook some food.”
A lady sitting next to Anna chuckled,
“… and burning down his own house, crazy fella.”
Li Na was disappointed with the elderly lady.
“But, but, this house is so near the hospital!
He needs treatment!” Li Na exclaimed.
“The police would not come and take him to the hospital because no one reported it,” the driver explained.
… Society has failed him.
… Our mental health safety net has failed,
…His family members have failed him and not gotten him treated.
Li Na felt guilty too for not picking up the phone,
as the team moved on.
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The above anecdote is an example and illustration of some neglected persons.
Covid-19 causes stress and potential mental disorders risks in society and work places as well. Safety net policies need to be enforced for these people at risk
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Assertiveness, a skill to learn.
I sat behind the class to listen to a class on cognitive behavioral therapy. My son was in the front row. The class was for parents as well as patients with mental disorders. The topic was on assertiveness.
Assertiveness is adopting a firm position in a disagreement without compromise. Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. I learned to respect him when he said no to something we were negotiating whether to do or not. It pleased me that he knew his limit on a certain issue. He had to learn how to manage daily happenings in order not to get upset emotionally.
Many things in life are beyond our control. We have control only over oneself. We can also choose to assert our stand, or ignore if it is none of our business!
It is a skill that can be learned and applied.
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Tenacity: the little ‘mountains’ kids have to climb
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A video had been forwarded
many times over the social media.
I can’t help but to admire
the tenacity of this kid!
Look how he grips
the linen with his chubby hands!
See how his face presses onto
the soft cushion with tenacious determination!
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Each time he pulls himself up
his foot grapples clingingly
onto his ‘huge opponent’, the mattress,
as if, in wrestling, with such strength of will,
a will bigger than himself
with persistent perseverance
that would put shame to some adults!
Ouch! He is falling!
Landing on his butts, head lifted up in reflex
and he picks himself up again!
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Yes, he is halfway up on the bed now!
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Oh, no, he is falling again!
On that long thick mattress
placed next to the sofa-bed!
He re-bounces, turns back immediately,
…with a fixity of purpose, that is, to climb up that bed!
And hurray! He is finally up and crawling on the bed!
Triumph flashes on his face!
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Tenacity means never to have
words like ‘failure’ and ‘giving up’!
Many of our kids have been through
those little ‘huge’ challenges
those little ‘mountains’ kids have to climb;
rolling-over, learning to stand up,
walking that first step, crawling around.
Each of those are mountain-like tasks
matching those growing-up years.
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They were just the beginnings.
The beginning in preparing them
and their mind-set for bigger goals in life!
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Quotes
2. There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.”― Terry Pratchett
I only have you in my heart.
Listen to my solo 我的心里没有他 wo de xin li mei yu da (meaning I only have you in my heart.)
This song reminds us that females can be such petty and jealous species.
I wonder if it applies to men, too!
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“Jealousy is not a barometer by which the depth of love can be read. It merely records the degree of the lover’s insecurity.”
– Margaret Mead
Retirement and reshaping our social fabric?
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Retirement age is steadily increasing in many countries, where many 60- year- olds are still healthy and productive. When knowledge and experiences are at a peak, wouldn’t it be a waste to put them into cold storage when they can offer real economic advantages? Will that mean fewer opportunities for the younger generations, fresh graduates, and new entrants to the job market? I never use the word “retire” on myself. But if I were to go back to compete in the job market, I would propose a half full-time equivalent (FTE) with a prorated salary. That way, the old people will still have sufficient time to rest and have time for their solitude time and hobbies. The fresh and younger people can be guided by these older mentors and strive forth in the competitive workforce, unhindered.
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Solitude versus loneliness
Solitude versus loneliness
"Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone," according to Paul Tillich.
Chen Song Ping 