Leaking stoma bags and ‘the window’

Leaking stoma bags and ‘the window’

Anecdote 1- Mr. Ahmed

“Nurse B, my bag leaks again! The other nurse A applied the bag just thirty minutes ago!” called Mr. Ahmed, a bed-ridden patient.

“Sigh! Look at the mess! Now I have to change a new bag again, the bed linens and your hospital clothes!” Nurse B grumbled as she changed the linens and the stoma bag…

Nurse Chen saw the patient tearing silently. She went toward him.

“Nurse Chen, see that window? If only I can walk! I would jump out of it!” he cried sadly.

“What is the point of ‘saving my life from cancer of the large intestine’, if my life is such a mess everyday!” he lamented the poor quality of life after operation.

Window (Photo by Sindre Stru00f8m on Pexels.com)

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That happened in the late 1980s. A small pioneering team of surgeons and nurses were tasked to look into the care of patients who were operated and had a stoma (<—see the images here) on their abdomen or ‘tummy’.

Those days stoma bags were a basic bag with zinc oxide adhesive (below). Very often it leaked and the fecal effluent spilled all over their clothes and bed linens. The skin around the stoma became excoriated or burned by the frequent contact with the excrements. It became inflamed and excruciatingly painful.

It was very depressing for the patients, and frustrating for the patient, home-carer and healthcare staff, too.

Upon discharge, some patients used cloth, new-papers, coconut shell, empty tins over their stoma to collect the effluents. Some created their own stoma bags (see below).

Self-made stoma bag for faecal effluent or discharge

OCD- Where’s that tiny, winy, little crumb?

OCD- Where’s that tiny, winy, little crumb?

Where’s that tiny, winy, little crumb?

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He looked under the table

He moved the chair

He scanned the floor

left and right.

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Ah, here it is

as he picked up

a small piece of crumb;

a tiny, winy little piece,

how satisfied he was!

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That was one

of his OCD behaviours!

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I have got this obsessive compulsive disorder where I have to have everything in a straight line, or everything has to be in pairs.

David Beckham

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I’m a hygiene freak. I’m like obsessive-compulsive when it comes to washing your hands.

Kelly Clarkson

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Assertiveness, a skill to learn.

Assertiveness, a skill to learn.

class in session about assertiveness – Photo by ICSA on Pexels.com

I sat behind the class to listen to a class on cognitive behavioral therapy. My son was in the front row. The class was for parents as well as patients with mental disorders. The topic was on assertiveness.

Assertiveness is adopting a firm position in a disagreement without compromise. Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. I learned to respect him when he said no to something we were negotiating whether to do or not. It pleased me that he knew his limit on a certain issue. He had to learn how to manage daily happenings in order not to get upset emotionally.

Many things in life are beyond our control. We have control only over oneself. We can also choose to assert our stand, or ignore if it is none of our business!

It is a skill that can be learned and applied.

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  1. “The duty we owe ourselves is greater than that we owe others.” ― Louisa May Alcott

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Tenacity: the little ‘mountains’ kids have to climb

Tenacity: the little ‘mountains’ kids have to climb

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A video had been forwarded

many times over the social media.

I can’t help but to admire

the tenacity of this kid!

Little mountains kids have to climb

Look how he grips

the linen with his chubby hands!

See how his face presses onto

the soft cushion with tenacious determination!

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Each time he pulls himself up

his foot grapples clingingly

onto his ‘huge opponent’, the mattress,

as if, in wrestling, with such strength of will,

a will bigger than himself

with persistent perseverance

that would put shame to some adults!

Ouch! He is falling!

Landing on his butts, head lifted up in reflex

and he picks himself up again!

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Yes, he is halfway up on the bed now!

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Oh, no, he is falling again!

On that long thick mattress

placed next to the sofa-bed!

He re-bounces, turns back immediately,

…with a fixity of purpose, that is, to climb up that bed!

And hurray! He is finally up and crawling on the bed!

Triumph flashes on his face!

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Tenacity means never to have

words like ‘failure’ and ‘giving up’!

adorable baby blur chair
Tenacity; learning to stand up (Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com)

Many of our kids have been through

those little ‘huge’ challenges

those little ‘mountains’ kids have to climb;

rolling-over, learning to stand up,

walking that first step, crawling around.

Each of those are mountain-like tasks

matching those growing-up years.

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They were just the beginnings.

The beginning in preparing them

and their mind-set for bigger goals in life!

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Quotes

  1. Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity. – Louis Pasteur

2. There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.”― Terry Pratchett

Retirement and reshaping our social fabric?

Retirement and reshaping our social fabric?

Photo by ICSA on Pexels.com

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Retirement age is steadily increasing in many countries, where many 60- year- olds are still healthy and productive. When knowledge and experiences are at a peak,  wouldn’t it be a waste to put them into cold storage when they can offer real economic advantages? Will that mean fewer opportunities for the younger generations, fresh graduates, and new entrants to the job market? I never use the word “retire” on myself.  But if I were to go back to compete in the job market,  I would propose a half full-time equivalent (FTE) with a prorated salary. That way, the old people will still have sufficient time to rest and have time for their solitude time and hobbies. The fresh and younger people can be guided by these older mentors and strive forth in the competitive workforce, unhindered.

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Solitude versus loneliness

Solitude versus loneliness

Solitude versus loneliness

"Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone," according to Paul Tillich.

Severely disableds ’empowered’ as avatar robots!

Severely disableds ’empowered’ as avatar robots!

This is a smart idea! Empowering bedridden and severely disabled to operate robots, from a distance.

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Tell the universe

Tell the universe

Many people suffer in silence. The excuses are shame, taboos, ‘don’t wash dirty linens in public’, or ‘ you are weak’. And so, they ‘drown’!


Speaking up here refers to talking to someone close to oneself or a counselor. A meditation guru once suggested “meditating and telling the universe”. In peaceful solitude and self-reflection, one may find the answers or solutions.

Tell the universe (Picture courtesy of Ruzita

The daily clergy visitor

The daily clergy visitor

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Every noon time,

an elderly clergy man would stand

at a corner of the busy ward, observing.

Streams of visitors strolled in

towards their loved ones or friends.

Some brought extra fruits and food.

They would hug and kiss

the face or the hands of the patients,

chatting concernly.

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A few lonely patients watched silently,

but their loved ones were struggling

in a hand-to-mouth existence

to feed their family,

let alone afford a trip

from the interior to the city hospital. 

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The clergyman clasped his hands together

in front of his chest

and gestured if he may sit down

next to a bedridden patient.

The patient nodded and pointed

to a chair next to his bed. 

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It was all silence and touch communication

as he peeled an orange or banana

to feed the patient. 

He would wipe the face

and hands of the patient.

And he would just sit for a while

before moving to

the next targeted patient.

Until a security man came in

ringing his bell signalling

the end of the visiting hours.

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