Assertiveness, a skill to learn.

Assertiveness, a skill to learn.

class in session about assertiveness – Photo by ICSA on Pexels.com

I sat behind the class to listen to a class on cognitive behavioral therapy. My son was in the front row. The class was for parents as well as patients with mental disorders. The topic was on assertiveness.

Assertiveness is adopting a firm position in a disagreement without compromise. Assertiveness is not aggressiveness. I learned to respect him when he said no to something we were negotiating whether to do or not. It pleased me that he knew his limit on a certain issue. He had to learn how to manage daily happenings in order not to get upset emotionally.

Many things in life are beyond our control. We have control only over oneself. We can also choose to assert our stand, or ignore if it is none of our business!

It is a skill that can be learned and applied.

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  1. “The duty we owe ourselves is greater than that we owe others.” ― Louisa May Alcott

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Tenacity: the little ‘mountains’ kids have to climb

Tenacity: the little ‘mountains’ kids have to climb

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A video had been forwarded

many times over the social media.

I can’t help but to admire

the tenacity of this kid!

Little mountains kids have to climb

Look how he grips

the linen with his chubby hands!

See how his face presses onto

the soft cushion with tenacious determination!

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Each time he pulls himself up

his foot grapples clingingly

onto his ‘huge opponent’, the mattress,

as if, in wrestling, with such strength of will,

a will bigger than himself

with persistent perseverance

that would put shame to some adults!

Ouch! He is falling!

Landing on his butts, head lifted up in reflex

and he picks himself up again!

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Yes, he is halfway up on the bed now!

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Oh, no, he is falling again!

On that long thick mattress

placed next to the sofa-bed!

He re-bounces, turns back immediately,

…with a fixity of purpose, that is, to climb up that bed!

And hurray! He is finally up and crawling on the bed!

Triumph flashes on his face!

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Tenacity means never to have

words like ‘failure’ and ‘giving up’!

adorable baby blur chair
Tenacity; learning to stand up (Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com)

Many of our kids have been through

those little ‘huge’ challenges

those little ‘mountains’ kids have to climb;

rolling-over, learning to stand up,

walking that first step, crawling around.

Each of those are mountain-like tasks

matching those growing-up years.

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They were just the beginnings.

The beginning in preparing them

and their mind-set for bigger goals in life!

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Quotes

  1. Let me tell you the secret that has led me to my goal. My strength lies solely in my tenacity. – Louis Pasteur

2. There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.”― Terry Pratchett

Retirement and reshaping our social fabric?

Retirement and reshaping our social fabric?

Photo by ICSA on Pexels.com

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Retirement age is steadily increasing in many countries, where many 60- year- olds are still healthy and productive. When knowledge and experiences are at a peak,  wouldn’t it be a waste to put them into cold storage when they can offer real economic advantages? Will that mean fewer opportunities for the younger generations, fresh graduates, and new entrants to the job market? I never use the word “retire” on myself.  But if I were to go back to compete in the job market,  I would propose a half full-time equivalent (FTE) with a prorated salary. That way, the old people will still have sufficient time to rest and have time for their solitude time and hobbies. The fresh and younger people can be guided by these older mentors and strive forth in the competitive workforce, unhindered.

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Solitude versus loneliness

Solitude versus loneliness

Solitude versus loneliness

"Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone," according to Paul Tillich.

Severely disableds ’empowered’ as avatar robots!

Severely disableds ’empowered’ as avatar robots!

This is a smart idea! Empowering bedridden and severely disabled to operate robots, from a distance.

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Tell the universe

Tell the universe

Many people suffer in silence. The excuses are shame, taboos, ‘don’t wash dirty linens in public’, or ‘ you are weak’. And so, they ‘drown’!


Speaking up here refers to talking to someone close to oneself or a counselor. A meditation guru once suggested “meditating and telling the universe”. In peaceful solitude and self-reflection, one may find the answers or solutions.

Tell the universe (Picture courtesy of Ruzita

Prevent child deaths in parked vehicles

Prevent child deaths in parked vehicles

Lately,  a child was left and died in a locked vehicle again as he didn’t disembark to go to kindergarten.

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time and again it happens

a child dies in a parked car

Is there enough

public awareness campaign?

smart seat alarm sensors?

AI- enabled cameras

to detect motions in parked vehicles?

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is there

community vigilance such as

“see something,  act immediately!

Stricter laws in child care and schools

to report strict’ check- in’ protocols

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Encourage corporate responsibility

to allow flexibility for working parents

and parental strategies

like placing essential items,

handbags, phone in back seat

to prompt checking the vehicle

before leaving it.

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reengineer our environment,

habits and technologies

to prevent another child

dying in a parked vehicle! 

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Chen’s quotes on HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Chen’s quotes on HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY

* The day a baby is born,

a mother is born,  too!

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*Gone are the carefree days. Now come the sleepless nights and a baby’s breastfeeding schedules on demand!

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* Here come free weight-lifting exercises, early feeding, and reading sessions!

* Can you believe the once carefree lady is now a supermum? What with baby-sitting, cooking,  WFH projects,etc!

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Listen to this song mama hau (good mothers)!

mama hau (good mothers)

In Definition of “Hospital” by Pope Francis

In Definition of “Hospital” by Pope Francis

Pope Francis wrote this before his death while in the hospital. 

“In Definition of “Hospital” by Pope Francis

POPE FRANCIS always surprises with his reflections:

“The walls of hospitals have heard more honest prayers than churches…
They have witnessed far more sincere kisses than those in airports…
It is in hospitals that you see a homophobe being saved by a gay doctor.
A privileged doctor saving the life of a beggar…
In intensive care, you see a Jew taking care of a racist…
A police officer and a prisoner in the same room receiving the same care…
A wealthy patient waiting for a liver transplant, ready to receive the organ from a poor donor…

It is in these moments, when the hospital touches the wounds of people, that different worlds intersect according to a divine design. And in this communion of destinies, we realize that alone, we are nothing.

The absolute truth of people, most of the time, only reveals itself in moments of pain or in the real threat of an irreversible loss.

A hospital is a place where human beings remove their masks and show themselves as they truly are, in their purest essence.

This life will pass quickly, so do not waste it fighting with people.
Do not criticize your body too much.
Do not complain excessively.
Do not lose sleep over bills.
Make sure to hug your loved ones.
Do not worry too much about keeping the house spotless.
Material goods must be earned by each person—do not dedicate yourself to accumulating an inheritance.
. . .

You are waiting for too much: Christmas, Friday, next year, when you have money, when love arrives, when everything is perfect…

Listen, perfection does not exist.
A human being cannot attain it because we are simply not made to be fulfilled here.
Here, we are given an opportunity to learn.

So, make the most of this trial of life—and do it now.

Respect yourself, respect others. Walk your own path, and let go of the path others have chosen for you.
Respect: do not comment, do not judge, do not interfere.

Love more, forgive more, embrace more, live more intensely!
And leave the rest in the hands of the Creator.”
—Pope Francis 🙏

When a gift is not appreciated…

When a gift is not appreciated…

Gift accepted and appreciated

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A senyru poem

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ever come across 

  gifts unappreciated

and unwanted?

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a gifter so sad

is my gift not good enough?

Should I redo it?

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